Gooden Plenty

Parents of toddlers know the struggle of how emotionally unstable they can be. And an episode could happen at any time. Then left with the decision of giving them a piece of your mind or patiently getting on their level. Explaining that licking the floor and purring like a cat is not appropriate in public places. And if you are in the “why?” phase, well forget it. Either way, very probable that someone is watching you and judging you with their eyes. And even if they aren’t looking at you they are judging you in their mind.

I am 32 years old with two boys who are 9 and 4 right now. The boys could not be more different in their personalities, looks, and tempers. In his 4 year old career of being in this world, Max, has learned every single button I have. He knows how to turn everything around and use it against me. He even puts one hand on his hip and one shaking a finger at me while he does it. Just as if he was replicating exactly what I told him the day before.

As a young parent with my first born, I rarely let him down much less make a mess. When he was really little I was terrified of him playing in something that I would have to clean up later. Comparing myself now to the 23 year old mom I was, I have far more patience now. However, Max can bring the worst out of me. Apparently when I was 23 and with just one child I had nothing else to do, but hold a cute little boy and play with him. Now I am lucky if we can get through 3^rd grade science homework, eat a balanced dinner, bathe, and spend time with one another. So far my parenting career has taught me to act rather than react. Children catch on really quickly how you handle situations. They will use it to their advantage now and when they are teenagers. I have yet to master this talent as you are about to see.

Now, I love my boys with all of my heart. However, I want you to really get some perspective for the story I am going to tell you. On a beautiful Saturday morning, Max and I ventured out to Hobby Lobby. Really useless for me to go there as I realize I want to redecorate my entire house, but I also have a budget. I know how the shopping adventure will go from the beginning, and that should have been my clue. If Max doesn’t want to ride in the cart, I have to hold him. Max is 4 years old and weighs around 32lbs. Ok, so I do not HAVE to hold him. But the alternative is a small child running up and down each aisle with or without me. I am ok with him not being glued to me, but there are crazy people out there. And Max just sees a giant game of hide and seek about to happen. So I gently tell him that he needs to stay close to me while I look around. The second time I have to tell him my tone sounds like I mean business, Max looks at me and just smiles and runs away. So naturally I say “Max, 1, 2…” and he comes running back as if he knows what the punishment will be. Now I am on the 5^th time saying this to him and I am conflicted on if I need to get really angry with him so he knows I mean it this time. Or if I should give it one more time and maybe by some miraculous turn of the Earth he might stay with me until we leave the store.

If you have stayed with me this long I think you know where I am going. I was about to lose my ever loving mind. How can this small individual really think he can get away with not listening to me? I provide him a place to sleep, feed him, and take him where he needs to go every day. Why doesn’t he know how this parent, kid thing works? Then I realize that I haven’t been setting a very good example for him.

I am inadequate without Jesus in my life. I am a sinner and have to ask for forgiveness daily and I find my comfort in Jesus, the one who already died for me to wash away my sins. He knew me before I was born, He knew all the choices I would make to bring me right to that very store on that very day. Sometimes I want to be that parent that comes in to save the day with encouraging words. Or cleaning up a skinned up knee and topping it off with my kiss. If we aren’t too careful our children will see us as their savior. The one that will save them from the bullies at school or a terror of a little brother at home. Rather we should show our children we need Jesus too and look to Him for guidance.

Every ounce of my anger that I was feeling toward my little toddler turned to tears in an instant. I held him close as we sat on the floor and prayed. We prayed for mom to check her temper and Max to be a better listener. Never once did I look around to see who might be watching or judging. But I wasn’t praying this super loud either. With a gentle crack in my voice and tears running down my face we sat there for that 5 second prayer. I am also pretty sure that is the longest Max has ever sat down at one time. That prayer didn’t do much for Max’s listening skills that day and I did not keep my temper down the entire rest of the trip. But I do hope he might remember it one day. I do know what I want my boys to know about Jesus. I want them to know that I love Jesus and I depend on Him and how to let Him into my heart. As a mother to boys there is so much I can teach them. And at the same time only so much I can teach them. I can lead by example and get them involved in things I know are important.

My 6 year old son, Marcus, and I usually go to the grocery store together on the weekends. We have sort of made it our thing to do together. I mean I have to do it anyway, why not bring a little boy along too. No, really, he is great. If I start buying things that are not on my list he steers me back on track and tells me when we just need to leave and get home to watch a Netflix movie.

This is something we have evolved into, it did not start this harmonious in the beginning. It was usually me being typically exhausted with 2 kids trying to weave in and out of people in the aisles. I am trying to save money so I have my coupons and my list, but then notice something is on sale so naturally we have to have it or NEED it. And it’s on sale, so it’s ok, right? My youngest was in the habit of trying to eat my list or take the pen and try to put it up his nose. Then one kid cries and one kids wants that toy at the end of the aisle that Kroger strategically places where I need to stand and look to see what kind of spices I need. And then I will occasionally lose my cool with one of them and we end up having to leave without getting everything I needed so I wouldn’t have a mental breakdown. There is no exaggeration here, some days I can handle my life with kids and some days I just shouldn’t go out in public with my kids.

We have learned from each other and we make it a fun outing. We like to go and get free samples from our friend that works in the kiosk. We have some fun banter and he actually tells me about his days in school (which is huge for him). Sometimes I will tell him some good stories about growing up with younger siblings. Basically we just talk and have a good time. I have learned so much from this little boy and I know he makes me a better person. I know he is learning from me too, I just want it to be all of the good things.

One particular day while we are shopping, Marcus is riding in the large part of the shopping cart and crossing off items on the shopping list, we were having a good conversation about not buying items that were not on the list. An older lady stopped me and said she was enjoying our conversation. I smiled and said thank you. But she went on to tell me that I am a good mother and moments like this that I am having with my son are so special. She told me that she likes coming to Kroger because she needs groceries and always gets a good deal, but seeing people like us makes her day. I thought, wow, just that small instance where Marcus and I are having a good time and he is trying to keep me in line, we impacted someone else’s life. I couldn’t help it, but give her a hug. It didn’t feel awkward, it didn’t feel fake, it was just something I had to do. I didn’t know how to verbally tell her how appreciative I was for her kind words and that was the only way I knew how to show her at that time. I don’t think she will ever know how she impacted my life right there in that two minute meeting. And maybe Marcus will remember it one day too.

Have you ever tried to make a boy or any child for that matter sit down for longer than 2 minutes? Doesn’t really happen. So embrace the abundance of energy they have. I had to find a way to burn off their energy without destroying my house. If I let them find their own ways to burn off their energy, they would end up riding our Great Dane around the living room or hanging from the fan to escape the dart gun (you think I am exaggerating don’t you?).

Since I have boys, most of these will appeal to boys, however, most of the activities are not gender specific.  I also like it when they can use their minds for problem solving so you will see some activities that engage their brains as well as the running and jumping activities.

1. Puppet Show – They think they are really good at it so why not let them have a show. We happen to have a banister upstairs we use to separate the audience from the puppeteers. You could even use the end of the couch for separation. We make simple puppets our of Dad’s old socks or paper bags.
2. Puzzles – We have an absolute ton of these all over our house. Even the dollar store ones that are super easy and the boys like because they can finish it really fast.  They are not watching TV and using their brains to work these puzzles. It’s the little things.
3. Catapults – Say this word to a boy and even if he doesn’t know what it means, I am sure his eyes will light up just thinking about all the destruction he can do. You can use just about anything to make them, i.e. plastic forks, cotton balls, plastic cups, ping pong balls, paper bags. None of these items are super heavy and hopefully won’t destroy anything in your house.
4. Magic Show – Do your boys think they are pretty magical? Put them to the test. They are already pretty good at making things disappear: food, toys, and my money, so why not make a show out of it. 
5. Ring Toss – We have a set at home, but you could make a version of it pretty easily using plastic bottles and diving rings. They can be pretty competitive so we could literally go for an hour or so to see who has the best score.

These are all things that can be done indoors so in case it is raining or just too hot to be outside. Have fun!

Brought to you by Sara Gooden of Gooden Plenty.

Just because I live near an island doesn’t mean I take my kids to the beach often, especially in the summer. However, since we live so close to the beach I would be crazy if I didn’t take them every now and then. So these are things you need to know and prepare for before going to the beach.

1. Let Go – for those type A personalities like me who have to have everything clean every second of the day… just let them get dirty and sandy for a bit. I hate bringing have of that sandy beach back with me every time I take the kids to the beach. So basically I need to mentally prepare myself to know I have no control over how messy they are going to get. Even if you tell them 100 times to not step on the towel with their sandy feet, they will. And if your husband is like mine, he will dig a hole in the sand and place your baby in it and cover him with sand so that he can’t move. He thinks he is providing him a great place to sit, however, I just see the massive amount of sand that just went in his diaper. But hey, I am letting go.
2. Baby Powder – Take some baby powder and Dad’s old sock. Put the baby powder in the sock and rub all over those sandy bodies and you will actually leave the sand at the beach versus taking it with you. A thing of store brand baby powder and a sock you already can’t find the match to anyway will literally save your car and sanity for beach days.
3. Sunscreen before you go – How hard is it to get a child to stand still anyway, but much less when you have a large body of water that is literally calling them to come jump in? Right! Sunscreen before you go in your nice air-conditioned home before they become sticky and sandy. Almost as if as soon as you get to your location, they can run and play in the water. You will be well on your way to having them tired so a nap will be in your future… wishful thinking again?

I don’t always have help with my kids on the weekends so I have to make sure going out will be easy and fun for everyone. I don’t like to be miserable while my kids are having a blast.

Brought to you by Sara Gooden of Gooden Plenty.

When I say I need to stay on a budget this summer, I mean it. I have three boys 12, 6, and 1 so I am constantly looking for things to do with all of them together and keep us active.  So I have some active young children that will absolutely drive me crazy if they have to stay in the house during the day. I work during the week out of the house so they go to a daycare. On the weekends they wake up at 6:30am ready to go!! Here are a few thing we do to expend the energy they have building up and gets us out of the house.

1. Go to the pool – One of our favorite things to do. We live in South Carolina so the pool is open from April to November and there are always indoor pools. We have one in our neighborhood and there are others in our area that are all free. I keep a couple of pool bags ready so I don’t have to do much to get us out the door. I love being in the water and in South Carolina you have to be to stay hydrated and stay cool during the record breaking, humidity suffocating days. Talk about budget friendly, I can pack us a lunch and the kids are happy as long as they are jumping around and staying wet.
2. The park – Our town is full of parks with great parks and free! During the summer, we have to go early before lunch so it’s not too hot. But it is enough to get some exercise and then eat a good lunch back at home. When I say a good lunch I mean a PB&J with a juice box. Just enough sugar to crash for a nap/ Way easier said than done, I know. However, we can always dream.
3. Library – Our library is only open on the weekends in the morning. There is always something going on though, guests readers, computer games, and super fun places to read books. The library is a good place to learn about new kids of books and talk with other adults and kids. This is beyond budget friendly, everything about it is free and gets us out of the heat for a while and they usually learn something too.
4. Waterpark – We are so lucky to live in a place where there are some small local water parks that offer a discount to locals. It is usually under $10 per person. Even if you had to pay full price it would be about $13 per person. Still not bad for a few small slides, some splash pads, and some big wading pools. It is perfect for all ages really from infant to teens.
5. Home Depot DIY Kids – About every 6 weeks the Home Depot will host a DIY project for kids ages 5-12 to make something on Saturday mornings for 3 hours. So easy and so free! This is fun for boys and girls, on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day they will make something fun and special holidays too. This is just a good way to spend a Saturday morning with your kids building stuff together. Also, did I mention it is FREE?

Hopefully these give you and your family some ideas to keep your children occupied this summer.

Brought to you by Sara Gooden

June 12, 2014 is a day that I will not soon forget. I was going in for my regular 25 week prenatal check up. I explained to the doctor that I hadn’t felt well that week just  more tired than usual, but let’s be honest I had a toddler and was 25 weeks pregnant I thought it was pretty normal. I saw the sense of urgency in her eyes as she told me that I needed to be examined. She explained to me that I was in preterm labor and would need to be on bed rest starting immediately until I was able to stabilize.

I was a relatively fit person, more so in the last couple of years. And to be sentenced to my home until the baby was born was… come on, a true relief. Nothing like getting to sleep in and actually watch my favorite TV shows instead of Nickelodeon. After a few weeks I noticed the weight of bed rest, literally, and the toll it was taking on my body. The only time I got up off the couch was to use the bathroom or get some food. My muscles were losing their strength and my joints ached and there was nothing I could do about it. I gained A LOT of weight during the next 10 weeks. When I entered the delivery room I was a whopping 208 lbs, my precious little baby boy was 5 lbs 4 oz so the weight thing was all me.

Wanting my body back, I immediately started walking more and trying to be active. I had not returned to work yet, but my baby was still eating every few hours even in the middle of the night. I lost about half the weight from just not needing to eat as much as I was when I was pregnant. But that didn’t put me back in my pre-pregnancy clothes. But now I had a 6 month old and was still not out of maternity clothes. It was time!

I wanted to lose weight and be in shape again, but I had so many things standing in my way. Just like you, right?

These are the 3 biggest barriers standing in our way of getting in shape:

“But I don’t have time”

Who has said this? I said it for about 8 years and my body showed it. I used my child as an excuse most times too. My husband worked late and I already got up at the crack of dawn for work and getting ready for the day. I am that person that would sleep until the absolute last minute I could without being late for work. So I got a hand me down jogging stroller (those things are expensive by the way) and decided I was going to run in the evenings when I got home. My son, who was 3 at the time, was nestled in with his tablet and off we went. I am pretty sure a kid learning how to ride a tricycle was faster than me, but I was doing something and that made me happy.

“But my body hurts”

Amen sister! I was in a car accident about 3 months before finding out I was pregnant. After the accident, I wasn’t able to exercise due to the tenderness of my hip. I decided to see a chiropractor while I was starting to run again because I didn’t want my bones to shift too much with all of this new movement I was doing. My body did hurt for w while after starting to be active again, longer than I wanted it to. I decided to tone down my activity to let my body adjust.

“But I don’t feel skinny yet”

I am the queen of wanting instant gratification. If it doesn’t work in about 10 minutes I am on to the next thing. If there was a pill that would suck all of the excess fat out of my body and I literally didn’t have to move at all I would have done it. Oh and it would have to be about $10 too, on a budget here. So what to do when you have little spare money and need to lose weight and get fit? I had to run/walk. It was free and I could do it on my time. Definitely not instant gratification, but it did pay off over time. Also a great stress reliever, don’t always have money for a therapist either.

Bottom Line: You have to find what works for you. What works for me may not work for everyone else and vice versa. Every person and body is different and there will probably be a lot of trial and error to find the best fit. I was in a specific situation that allowed me to find the best fit for me.

I hope all of you find a way to overcome your barriers to achieve your goal and get to where you need to be. Unfortunately sometimes we have to be at the bottom to find our strength and determination.

Brought to you by Sara Gooden Plenty!